I missed last week’s Musings. I’m not terribly convinced that anyone really cares, but this is more for me than it is for anyone else. =) Herein I discuss my hernia, work, the upcoming surgery, my telescope,
My hernia is foremost on my mind, lately, as I’m sure you can imagine. It’s been a week and 4 days since the hospital visit, and it’s been an interesting ride. Friday I went in to work for half the day, and it was difficult but not terrible. Saturday, however, I awoke feeling completely normal, and felt just fine throughout the entire day. It was like nothing had happened, minus a few twinges of soreness while in odd positions. Sunday was even better – no twinges, etc. I went out to the park for HFS (I didn’t participate in the combat however) and felt really good all day.
This morning, however, was a little worse. I woke up fine, but earlier I was bending over to pick something up off the ground, and I coughed, and felt a flare of pain in the original spot. Not nearly the same intensity as the first time, and thankfully it wasn’t accompanied with that nauseating sliding, but I think I may have upset the wound again. Luckily I’m seeing a surgeon for a surgical consult today. Prior to this point I was beginning to consider not having the surgery, but if this is going to keep happening, I think I’ll just have to do it and get it over with.
Which is going to make work interesting. They’re already being patient with me regarding all this. It’s a new month, so I have ten new hours of sick time, but most of that is going to be spent in the first couple days. I am working from home, which I thought was a good idea – but apparently there’s some drama regarding the fact that I’ve worked partial days. I don’t really know what to do about this, but my boss should have me covered.
I have two hours until my visit with the surgeon. I don’t want my fear to stop me from having the surgery if I need it, but the problem is that I don’t know if I need it. I certainly don’t want to live the rest of my life worrying that I might flare my hernia if I cough wrong, but I also don’t want to suffer post-surgical pain or side effects.
Playing what-if games is no fun, because I don’t have any answers to them besides “deal with it.” The idea of death doesn’t matter – if I die, it’ll be over for me here and I won’t have an opinion about it. Death isn’t even remotely likely, but the ‘what-if’ is still there, despite my attempt at rational response. My family will be taken care of – I’ve got at least two life insurance policies in effect, and they’re decent amounts. Medical expenses will be taken out of that, but there should be plenty left over to give my kids a head start in life.
Last night I finally brought my telescope eyepieces to my mom’s house, to join the telescope itself that I brought over several days ago. It’s been getting cold lately – I suspect a cold front – and the air has been crisp and the skies clear, so last night I took out the scope and did some Jupiter-watching. After refocusing I immediately saw the planet’s disk, all four of Galileo’s moons, and after a few minutes of watching I was able to pick out the cloud bands.
The more I use this telescope, the more I wish for a better one. =P Don’t get me wrong – this is a fine beginner scope, and it’s allowed me to see things that have blown my mind – but it’s small and not very well made. Today I took the scope apart and inspected the lenses inside; they had marks on them: scratches, pits, dust, smudges, etc. The scratches and pits I can’t do anything about, but I used a cotton cloth to wipe away the dust and smudges. I can’t reach the back side of the aperture lens, but everything else got a firm wiping.
Well I’m going to call it a day here. This is long enough as it is and I think I could muse for the rest of the day.