I’m worried about my body again. Sigh. I have reasons to think my hernia is recurring despite the surgery, and also reasons to think it’s not recurring. The number of reasons for each balances the other out, so I don’t know what to think.
Two evenings in a row now I’ve had a suspiciously-intestinal-looking lump in my left side, in same place it would appear when my hernia was out before the surgery. I don’t know whether it actually is a recurring hernia or not, because I can’t push this lump back into the hole, nor can I pull it in by lying on my back and arching upwards. Both of these maneuvers worked before the surgery. Also, pressing on the lump is painful, when before surgery it wasn’t.
Before the surgery, if my hernia was out when I tried to eat, my abdominal muscles would really ache and tighten while they tried to push food through the hole. It would also hurt a good deal due to the muscles pushing against the site of the wound. Since my surgery, this hasn’t happened even once, until last night after dinner, although I didn’t have any pain at the wound site.
Also, before surgery, fully emptying my bladder was difficult – it constantly felt like there was always just a little bit left to get out. After the surgery, despite the muscle-control issues that have almost completely abated, this wasn’t an issue anymore – again, before last night.
I don’t know what’s going on. I had an appointment for November 1st for my follow-up exam, but I called and had it moved to this Friday instead. I want to get it looked at, preferably via ultrasound so they can see what’s going on, and I’m concerned that the surgery didn’t take and I’ll have to do it all over again.
This bothers me greatly for obvious reasons. Not only health-wise, with the hernia itself and its possible complications, but also financially. I can’t keep taking time off without pay – I can’t afford it, and it looks very bad from a job perspective. I’ve been trying as hard as I can to show that I’m serious about doing my job, even in the face of injury and illness, but I feel like it’s not enough. My boss’s boss never talks to me anymore. My old boss doesn’t either unless I catch him first.
Finally there’s the family issues – this hernia has kept me away from home now for two weeks, and the time I did spend at home I wasn’t able to help out around the house, making me a burden to Tasha and Lorna. Unacceptable.
I’m not panicking. It’s entirely possible that this is just swelling that gets worse as the day goes on (with the downward pressure gravity puts on my intestines), and that swelling in the place it’s at could cause the issues I’m having with urination. My digestive issues could be unrelated as well.
In addition to worrying about myself, I am also worried about my son. Caspian has Croup, which is a respiratory illness where the upper airway is infected, inflamed, and swollen, leading to some really horrible coughing and wheezing sounds, as well as pain and fever. Tasha took him to Dr. Wheaton’s office yesterday where he received an oral steroid, and she bought him a humidifier for his room. He also told us to sleep in his room for a few nights in case he stops breathing during the night. It will last between 2 and 7 days, getting progressively better during this time, and there’s really nothing we can do for him other than treat the symptoms.
I’m not really worried, so much as concerned about the pain and discomfort he’s in. It sucks bad – his breathing sounds horrible, like a prolonged asthma attack, and it’s obviously painful, especially when he coughs. The only thing he ate yesterday (until I left around 5) was popcorn, and all we could get him to drink was pineapple juice, which I had picked up shortly before I got to the house at lunch time.
On top of all of this is the fact that my employer is dropping the insurance plan I’m on, and is replacing it with a more expensive and less helpful plan that I have no choice in buying. If I don’t buy into this, I’m either with no coverage, or I have to buy my own, which of course is much more expensive. All of my doctors visits went from $25/$35 copay to 80%, which is going to make seeing Dr. Fermo more expensive, as well as any subsequent visits to doctors for other issues (like the hernia for example). It’s frustrating that there’s nothing I can do about it.
Overall: Meh. =(